truth being what we make it

If someone told me that I was being lied to on a daily basis by various people, organizations, signage, and advertising, my knee-jerk reaction is no thanks, I'd rather have the truth. Nobody wants to find out they've been tricked. But every day we are bombarded by white lies that I for one am happy to keep. The truth is no one wants to find out they've been tricked, but the tricking often isn't the problem - the finding out is.

Example: I recently saw an article that said that the oscars are not about awarding cinematic accomplishments, but about controlling our view of cinema - basically that the oscars always has an agenda, and apparently this year it's awarding young stars in hopes of elevating them to the level of more mature performers. I have no problem with that on an ethical level, but I wasn't pleased to see the article because I liked living in a world where the Oscars give out awards to the best people, period. I suppose I like living in a world of absolutes.

Take another example: I used to work in a bookstore that displayed the top 40 bestsellers for the store each week. For a while I always assumed that they were the top 40 bestsellers, until I saw the process for choosing the bestsellers. That's right, choosing. Again, I think the ethics in this situation were sound. All the books we listed in the top 40 were at least in the top 50 or 60, but some books got bumped off the list - for example, if a book was assigned for a class, so lots of students came in that week and bought it, it might be bumped off the list since those sales weren't a true reflection of the book's popularity. Also, books that were already extremely popular across the nation, and on the trashy side, were taken off the list because the bookstore didn't need or want to promote them. By omitting these books, some local or less well known books that had done well but were only #48 or #56 would get the opportunity to be promoted by the store - and isn't that what best seller lists are for? To help you discover something popular that you hadn't heard of? The top 40 was never literally the top 40 best selling books, but it was close enough, and I think the customers of that store were living in a happier world with the revised top 40 of solid recommendations.

This tradition of white lies to preserve a more optimistic view of the world extends to personal relationships of course. We all know the rule about complimenting friends and lovers and saying the dress doesn't make her look fat or whatever. But the lies even go as deep as our feelings for each other, and I'm okay with that. If you find yourself in a relationship that lasts longer than 2 months, chances are great that you won't feel the love every day as intensely as you did those first days. You may find that you love your partner about 6 days of the week, and spend a solid day or so feeling neutral about them, or bored, or even not thinking about them. What a sad thought, right? That's why it's another example of a truth I'd rather do without, and be happier pretending it isn't so.